Arrest of Authority Figures Presents Confusing Situation for Children
By Nancy L. Othón, Staff Writer
Originally published in The Sun-Sentinel, April 16, 2001
In the past eight months in South Florida, a teacher, the owner of three youth homes and now a rabbi have been charged with computer-related crimes involving children or teenagers.
Each of them, in their professional capacities, had occasional or even everyday contact with children.
Therapists say the arrests of adults in positions of authority present a delicate issue for parents, whose children almost inevitably will have questions about why someone they trusted is in trouble with the law.
"I would say there is a potential for a child to be very confused, especially in the domains of trust and respect of authority figures," said Dr. Brian Greer, a Boca Raton psychiatrist.
The Royal Palm Beach owner of youth homes dealt with youths with behavior problems and was charged with possession of child pornography in August.
The Miami elementary school teacher was charged with transmitting child pornography over the Internet in November.
And the April 5 arrest of Rabbi Jerrold Levy on a charge of online solicitation of a juvenile led officials at Temple Beth El in Boca Raton to conduct a session last week about what parents should tell their children.
Levy, 58, is free on $10,000 bail. He is accused of sending sexually explicit computer messages to a teenager and arranging a meeting in Lake Worth with an undercover investigator posing as the boy.
Jaclynn Faffer, executive director of the Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in Boca Raton, declined to comment on what was said during the meeting except to say the temple "is very interested in the healing process."
Generally, the best advice for parents is to be honest with their children, Faffer said.
"The most important issue is that the parent has to really listen to what the child has to say," Faffer said. "They should be open to a child's emotions even if they're different from what the parent thinks is right."
The child might experience feelings of denial, anger, loss and betrayal.
"When a child feels betrayed, the most important thing is to help that child understand there were some good things in a relationship," she said. "That people who allegedly do terrible things still may have some good in them."
That helps children feel more positively about themselves, she said.
Greer said a discussion between a parent and child about an event such as Levy's arrest provides an opportunity to talk about role models.
If a priest, minister, rabbi, teacher or law enforcement figure is involved in an incident, parents can reaffirm the importance of the role of leaders, he said.
"So when this does happen, it's a shame, it's a tragedy, but it's important that children know that rabbis, too, are human beings," Greer said. "It's also important to separate the behavior from the individual. It doesn't mean they're bad people, but that they made bad choices."
Greer and Faffer said age is an important factor in considering how frank the discussion will be, in light of issues dealing with sexuality.
Greer said he would caution parents not to introduce a concept before a child does, using a child's questions as the basis for the conversation.
"It's always good to err on the side of simplifying," he said.
Delray Beach psychologist Rebecca Ellinger said parents should answer children's questions with the least amount of information possible. If a religious figure is arrested, children can be told that person "got into some trouble so he's not going to services."
Ellinger said it's also important to remind their children that people are innocent until proven guilty.
"In talking to children that know the rabbi, that needs to come across," she said. "They should acknowledge a child's feeling that it's very disappointing, that it's hard to see people in that position as being human and fallible, but they are."
Such feelings of disappointment in children can have a severe effect, Greer said.
"It could cause a cloud of confusion, and then it's time for parents to really balance out the incident by setting a good example and remembering ourselves that we need to teach by example," he said.
Again, this provides an opportunity to introduce books or stories that have good role models, where the hero's morals are clear—something that generates inspiration in the child, Greer said.
